“DIY” Guide: Holiday Shopping Torture: A Strategic Avoidance Manual

Day 318: Items Purchased: 0, Temptation Radar:0

Monday, November 14

Welcome to the busiest remaining 47 days of 2011! Despite the fact that this is the most enticing time of year with regard to shopping, and usually a complete money drain for me personally, I will scarcely have time to blink through it.If this writing seems spastic and thrown together, it’s because it is.  I’m running like a crazed lunatic this week, and literally blogging from the to-do list in my head. Geesh. Might I discuss my strategies for resisting personal retail lust this season?

1. Take a new role at work.

My new job has sent me to 2 travel meetings in the past month, learning a new role, meeting new faces and adjusting to a new management team. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very exciting, but very intense. I have 2 more travel meetings the first and second weeks of December. Between preparation for the Leadership Development course for which I was selected and my last Regional meeting, I will be so busy and living out of a suitcase, that shopping would be a welcome, but inconvenient relief. I received the email containing my prep work. It was daunting.

2. Celebrate other people’s personal holidays. 

My daughter’s birthday, Thanksgiving and my wedding anniversary take place within  the same week. This weekend, we are throwing Liv’s little princess party. I, being overly ambitious, decided to make (as in,”craft”) all the party details myself. Dumb. Really dumb. I am not crafty. I have good taste, but should hire services. “DIY” makes me cringe, and although I appreciate this gift in others, for me it’s like  “Why would you?” Well, this time, I did it myself and nearly did myself in. I’ll have barely swept the fairy dust, when Thanksgiving comes a knockin’. Mothers of small children understand that celebrating Thanksgiving at home only dictates that you also celebrate the process at preschool. This Friday, I will be preparing a traditional feast for my kids and their grandparents to share at the annual Little Shepherd’s Thanksgiving Pagent…or whatever they call it. Please, allow me to drop my briefcase for one moment to transport a turkey and his counterparts to this most joyous occasion! After that, it will be the REAL Turkey Day, and while I’m beyond thankful, I don’t really have to explain the delicate task of juggling multiple family homes and events do I? Oh yes, the Reeds will be on the Thanksgiving Road Show making several appearances, fully equipped with my famous pumpkin cheese cake and Gruyère Broccoli Casserole.

3. Go To BLACK FRIDAY IN A SUGAR COMA.

Now, it’s the BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY OF THE YEAR!!!????? Good Grief! What to do? I will begin by eating so much food and pie that I require a barrel for rolling to the sales starting at midnight. I will take my mother, who is a little cranky and not a shopper, but hilarious nonetheless. This is a strong Shopfast reinforcement strategy. She is….um…thrifty?  Shall I remind you about her encounter with the Tory Burch dress? https://shopfast.wordpress.com/2011/05/07/mom-meets-tory-burch-snubs-her-gasp/   . We will cut coupons, map a specific and well thought out shop course, and then make comments like, “I can’t believe these idiots would pitch tent for that 72″ TV and I touch.” Reminding oneself of how crazy people are will only ensure you not join them and keep that wallet in your purse. The best deal is NO DEAL and money in your pocket.  I know this because I will need all the money I can get for my post-Thanksgiving gastric bypass.

4. Throw Your Holiday Party!

I have a small Christmas party every year. I love it! It provides a solid 2 weeks of manifest symptomatic Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and other distractions including, but not limited to, insomnia, indigestion, and anxiety. Although, I must admit, much of the anxiety piece is due to wardrobe selection and which new outfit to buy! This year, I have 3 previously worn selections and there is a strong possibility I may let YOU, the faithful readers, vote. Oh, I almost forgot,  I won’t go to ANY store the week of this party save Sam’s and Publix.  That’s a help.

I always try to remind (ok, warn)my family of this crazy time of year, although NOTHING beats last year. Steve and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary in Paris. We landed in Orlando at 7:30, drove straight to the Grand Floridian Resort, where I purchased a Cinderella gown, slippers and tiara for Olivia to give at her birthday party the very next day! Yes, that’s right, we had the whole family over the following afternoon for her party. At 9am, with full-on jet lag,  I was picking up a cake I’d ordered prior to leaving and cooking food. It was actually perfect! Mildly psychotic, but perfect. That’s how I roll.

Did I mention it’s 4 am?

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