“Let’s All Take A Moment for Modification”

Days 151 & 152: Items purchased: 0, Temptation Radar:8  (Marshall’s need I say more?)

An ambush of temptation met me at Marshall’s today. However, it did not find me in the clothing department.  I saw shoes, beach chairs, books, gifts….just stuff galore and I begin to feel the pull of the downhill spiral.  Up until this point, I’ve been extremely focused on the initial criteria of “prohibition of clothing article purchases, unless paid in full with  a gift card from someone else for ONE YEAR.”  So far, I’ve held my ground. Moreover, I can honestly say I’ve not abused spends on shoes, accessories, etc.  In fact, back in February, I added home decor items to the list of criteria, because I saw the potential for an addictive behavior transfer. Yet something inside me is still challenged.  There is a beckoning. Something is interrogating me, asking boldly if I’m still holding something back, clutching a crutch handle. Have I given everything I have? Reminders of this haunting mystery confronted  3 times this week, unintentionally, by people  who have approached me with comments like, “Wait, you can buy other stuff?It’s just clothes? Oh! I didn’t know that. So, you can still buy shoes and jewelry? OHHHH!  Well, that’s not that bad.” I, taking those comments much like a pedestrian welcoming a Mack truck’s hit, thought,  “Really? It’s not that bad??? It’s JUST Clothes????”  Suddenly, my 6-month labor of love is casually dismissed. In that moment, I wanted to retaliate saying, “Wait. Stop. I wish you could know painstakingly difficult this has been for me. How lucky you are that you don’t shop till you drop…literally. But for me, who has a history of $200 trips to Target a couple of times a week, or who has clutched debit and credit cards like they are an oxygen line, it’s excruciating . To dispel any confusion or misunderstanding, I rarely walked into a store of any kind without buying something….whether I could afford it or not.

During my pilates session Friday morning, I began to notice my range of motion increasing, that I was getting stronger. It occurred to me that some of the exercises that were nearly impossible for me on Training Day 1, were effortless and fluid. Yet, the incorporation of some new poses and exercises presented a significant challenge…and with them increased strength. It hit me: look at shopfast as you would training.

“Aimee, you need to increase your resistance. You must add some weight.”  

In a somber state of honesty with myself, I accepted the reality that when you reach a plateau in training, and you want to keep strengthening, you have to up the ante.

Effective Sunday, June 5th a new criteria will go into place. For the remainder of 2011 there will be NO purchases of the following, unless procured with a gift card from a third-party:

  • Clothing (excluding $100 worth of expenditures on undergarments, socks/hosiery and fitness)
  • Shoes
  • Accessories
  • Home Decor
I can do this. I need to do this.  Looks like I’ll be wearing a lot more of this dress, belt and these shoes…

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