Mom Meets Tory Burch & Snubs Her. GASP!

Day 124, Items Purchased: 0, Temptation Radar: 8 (I could actually start a photo blog of all the “wish I couldst” encountered today.)

Shopping with my mother…..not an activity for the faint of heart. How could I adequately describe her to you? Words escape me. Let’s just say, she and I are polar opposites when it comes to fashion fun & shopping. She is practical. I’m extravagant. She dresses up for church. I dress up to go the mailbox. Clothes are like friends to me. Clothes, for her, are the enemy and only necessary to cover up. Let me share a reactionary example of our interaction with  a piece of clothing. I came upon a white linen suit today that literally caused a physical reaction: Goosebumps….all over my arms and flushed cheeks. Honestly, it was that incredible. My mother, who witnessed the meeting, cries “Oh my God, look at you! You really love this, don’t you!? Sorry, it’s just that clothes don’t have that effect on me at all.” And rather than paying proper respect to the luxury linen, she snubbed it and moved along. I, whimpering, followed her, head shaking and in  utter disbelief of her indifference. Needless to say, we still manage to have fun. Lots of fun! She laughs at my frustration when she knit picks every article of clothing and checks price tags before ever even determining if she even likes the item. If the item is more than $15, she begins comparison shopping in her head….except the comparisons are like trying to draw similarities between dirt and bleach. We shopped for nearly 8 hours and she bought some undergarments and a blouse on the way home in the last 15 minutes of our adventure.  It could be likened to searching far and wide for the perfect restaurant and then getting a burger at the drive thru instead, moments before you have to race back to meet the babysitter’s curfew. Not that I know anything about that, I’m just sayin’.

Ronnie, as I affectionately call her, entertained the buying opportunity of a lifetime today. We found the most adorable Tory Burch dress (see picture below). It looked fabulous on her. The fit was right, color and design perfect, highlighting her most lovely assets. Retail price: $598. Sale Price: $189.00 and take an additional 60% off.

I was ready to take it to the counter– signed, sealed, and stamped with an enthusiastic “Happy Mother’s Day!”, when suddenly she began to act out.  I braced myself. Here we go…..“That’s too much money for a dress! I don’t have anywhere to wear it!” Um….HELLO, GODDESS OF THE GRECIAN CRUISE! Seriously? By now, I’m rolling my eyes as she continues, “If you buy this dress, I will not speak to you for 1 year. I will not wear the dress. It will be a waste! It’s not that great anyway! No dress is worth $600!”  

“Excuse me. Mom. Did. You. Just. Snub. Tory. Burch?”

At this point, I’m partially ignoring her while marching resolutely, clutching the dress, to the handbags. I begin trying on a parade of crossbody bags, giving half an ear to her sermon, when she begins to list all the things I need to save my money for…..namely my children’s education.  Do we really need to bring the kids into this?! I simply wanted to take mother for her inaugural visit to Nordstrom Rack and buy her some clothes for her European Adventure. It was becoming very clear that this was going to be an impossibility.  In the heat of frustration we reached a stalemate and both decided it best to leave. As I strutted right out the door, a siren wailed,  “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!”  What’s that? I look down to discover that Shopfast girl is Shoplifting.  There it was, B. Makowsky still across my body, my feet 2 steps out the door and everyone staring. That’s how we roll!  Clearly humiliated and quite confused, I tossed the bag to mom and sprinted for my car. I wanted to leave with a dress for mom. Instead, I almost left with a stolen bag and a warrant.

We continued on to International Plaza where the debate over shoes, prices, styles, etc. carried on….and on, and on. I waged a courageous battle against the stubborn arguments of my mother. Of course, she won. She always does.  Nevertheless, I had a great day with her. We laughed a lot, that’s for sure. Heck, I nearly went to jail! We rarely take an entire day without children to goof around together. My goal was to suit her up in new threads, but hers was hanging out. By the end of the trip, I’d warmed up to the fact that in her eyes the success of the day didn’t depend on whether or not she had a new dress, it was defined by our togetherness.  I realized that sometimes walking around bag-less is the best stroll you can take.


5 responses

  1. OK , I’m laughing so hard I can’t wirte this comment. Hysterical is all I can say! At least I know where to go Christmas shopping for you! Hopefully there will be other non buying excursions!

  2. It sort of makes me teary eyed to read the last paragraph. I can so relate to your day of shopping. I’m glad you both had a fabulous time together and in the end it was all that truly matters. I do wish your Mom did know she is worth it and she looks good in anything these days!! (although, your Mom can probably make anything better than what is on the racks these days)

  3. Pingback: “DIY” Guide: Holiday Shopping Torture: A Strategic Avoidance Manual | SHOPFAST 365

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