Survival By Girl Scout Cookies And Stimulants

Day 64:   Items Purchased: 0, Temptation Radar: 5 (BECAUSE I DESERVE IT, DANG GUM IT!)

Dear Civilization:

Shhh! They will hear us. I have to whispertype. Don’t even think about laughing. In fact, I only allow crying around here for the next 72 hours. This update is brought to you live from my closet, where I am curled up under the hanging pants section. My children are currently occupied, for about 10 minutes, by a banana and the remainder of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Let me make this brief. I did not shop or purchase yesterday, some time was spent late last night filling up my favorite online shopping carts, because it just makes me feel good. In fact, this sneaky behavior reminded me of what I imagine of naughty men stealthily searching a porn site while trying to keep it from their wife …..an interesting parallel that I will be describing in a future post. Ahhh, you ladies didn’t know you were little shop porn freaks, did you? Anyway, I digress. Very early on in this project, I discussed the shopping trigger “Because I deserve it”. These indulgent purchases reveal themselves in response to either bad or good life experiences. The shopper determines her endurance deserves a prize. I could have easily found myself in this category yesterday after a 4:30am start time to my day with no relief in sight.  Steve did have the nerve to text me last evening describing how “gorgeous” it is in  Tahoe. Seriously? Did I also mention that he is staying in a Ritz Carlton property?

Well, never mind all that. Today, is round 2 and I will attempt to “enjoy” my children as he advised me last evening. As we speak, I hear some destructive sounds coming from the playroom. Dare I enter? No. Instead, I will reach for the other box of girl scout cookies. Yesterday, girl scout cookies & energy drinks kept me alive while I continued to take as arse whoopin’ from operation OOHeaven (that’s what I call them…….oh the power of a positive confession).

Let me ask a question. Does a straightjacket count as a clothing purchase?

 

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