Day 33 & 34, Items Purchased: 0, Temptation Radar: OFF THE CHARTS!
Clothes are calling; as are shoes, belts, and a new handbag. I hear them. Ringing. Ringing. Just as I’m reaching for my wallet, I’m abruptly interrupted by a high-functioning conscious “Hello, you’ve reached Aimee. She’s unable to finance your escape from that T-Rack for the next 365 days, please leave a message and she’ll refer you to a friend.” Beep. Thanks. So much.
Cranky. Very Cranky. To commemorate my two day meeting, and the absence of last evening’s post, I decided it would be fitting to do a “2 for 1” deal. Okay. Just kidding. Really, I didn’t post last night because of my corporate bowling adventure. Returned from meeting with pulled left glute, enhanced vocabulary of corporate buzz words, and a dazed and confused sort of expression with regards to the future of our organization…a very common theme in my field these days. It’s unnerving to think that my career, of which I’ve invested nearly 10 years, is an eroding industry. So many changes. So much pressure. So, this is what it’s like to be a big girl? Like many industrious and inspiring mammas I know, I report to a real job. You know, the one where you actually interviewed, in many cases multiple times, fighting for a coveted position–competed in a market with many others armed with incredible skill sets & vibrant career experience. After landing the position, which was a job in itself, you go through rigorous training to polish your skills. Crafting effective customer relationships, integral team dynamics, employer trust, you ease into the reality that everyday of your life is defined in part by performance pressure. No matter how great you were yesterday, tomorrow is on the radar and the expectation is higher. In the big girl job it’s about delivering results and delivering them consistently. You always feel it. You’re always on.
I’m feelin’ it. I’m tired & have a cold. Lacking anything interesting to say, I’d love to trash this whole blog and this project. I’d like to buy a purse or a new shirt, with the hard-earned money I made today engaging in the development of new customer-centric strategies, while embracing our new “capabilities”. Perhaps at the lowest point I’ve been in Shopfast so far; feeling weak, inadequate, uninteresting, exhausted and completely spent, it would be easy to quit.
So there. I’ve said it. Today =not so great. But me? Not a quitter. Tomorrow, will be better. Tonight, I’m taking a deep breath, while whispering a little prayer for strength–not just for Shopfast, but for all of it. Plan of Action? I’m going to cuddle my husband and watch a little American Idol. Dang, I’ll probably cry right along with them. After all, I’m not going to Hollywood tonight.